Neko

I wish I was one of those people who can live fully in the moment. I feel like I'm always waiting...when one thing happens that I've been waiting for I can only enjoy in momentarily and then I find myself waiting again. For something else. I know it puts a lot of unnecessary stress on myself. But I just don't know how to stop.

I was waiting for my background check...that came back clear. Now I'm waiting for my tax return...waiting to get these bills paid off...waiting...waiting...waiting.

Major sources of stress at the moment:

1. Being broke
2. Having an 1,800 loan to pay back before April
3. The state my house is in
4. The lack of help I get from Ricky
5. My mom's impending visit (due to the state that my house is in)
6. All the maintenance that my car needs

These are not in any particular order, they are just the major things that I have on my mind at the moment. I know I don't have much going on that other people don't also have. I know that many, many others are far, far worse off than me. I know I need to just count my blessings and be happy for all that I do have and for all that is going right. Which is actually quite a lot. I have been in far worse positions in life before and have always made it out alive. I know I'm making matters worse by fixating on things. I just needed to rant a little.

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